I am hearing so many good things about this damn game that I may break and finally try Elden Ring.

I have to be absolutely sure that the PC issues have been resolved, though.

Elden Ring is undoubtedly difficult--much harder than any of From Software's previous games.

That's all I needed to read to not waste my valuable money and free time.

If you find that kind of overwhelming, punishing, under-rewarding gameplay satisfying with absolutely no accessibility options for other types of players, then more power to you.

I just know I'm going to be disgusted with all the publications screaming "GOTY!" for the next ten months.

So I've completed Journey 6 in Elden Ring, and gotten the Frenzied Flame ending, bringing me up to 85% Achievement completion percentage. I have one more optional boss to beat which will require going into Journey 7, and a whole bunch of legendary loot to find for the last of the achievements.

The final boss took dozens of attempts and my successful attempt brought me down to my very last health flask.

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I have played nine 2022 games.

So what the hell, let's take a chance, and make it an even ten.

...but would you believe me if I told you I was under Medium Load with no talismans?

So after updating two stories, I realized that after completing NG+7, reaching max level, and installing one mod, that I still have not gotten my fill of Elden Ring.

What to do now?

Why, try to do it as fast as possible, of course.

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I conquered the final battles of Elden Ring yesterday afternoon before 2022 bowed out, and I immediately went back for more on New Game+, or Journey 2, as this game calls it.

Enemy health and damage slightly increases, as does the amount of runes players get. While key items important to the story have to be found again, players keep their loot, weapons, and armor, so for the most part, Journey 2 is an amusing cakewalk and victory lap in the beginning.

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Bitch, you're like 35-2 against me. At the very least, that's knowing defeat a liiiiiitle bit.

This is a video of my disastrous first attempt at Melania on NG+. My successful strategy both times has been: be crazy aggressive, do high, staggering damage, and hope the mimic isn't a fucking moron.

That didn't work until like the sixth attempt.

Afterward, they wanted to see my gaming setup.

You remember the co-worker I told you about who was thrilled at the lesbian dragons in my Freedom Planet story?

Yeah, I showed her the Malenia fight in Elden Ring tonight.

I will never forget how absolutely enthused she was when we got to the nudity in Phase 2.

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Yay.

So in my last blog, a reader asked how taking the Lifesteal Hand of Malenia mod and fighting her with a considerably buffed version of her own weapon would turn out.

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Certainly hope we get more news on Make Your Mark Chapter 4 soon. Even if it doesn't involve Opaline on fire.

In other news, if you've grown tired of my Elden Ring blog entries, good news; this is likely the last one for awhile. I'm likely done until the DLC.

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Not in the sense you're thinking of!

My obsession vice completely normal amount of playing Elden Ring continues. I completed Journey 5 tonight without activating a single Great Rune (this game's version of buffs). Through this playthrough, I maxed out Endurance to 99.

So let's take that and put it to the ultimate 'blocking whore' test.

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Elden Ring came out, and if you've read some of my other blogs, you might know that I have been a From fan since 09, starting my road with Demon's souls. For PS3. When it was new. Needless to say, when they gave me a breath of the wild styled Dark Souls with a map the size of Demon's Souls, Darksouls 1 through 3 and Bloodborne all put together, I knew I'd be lost for a few days at the minimum. Even now, after already logging 60 hours into the game, I'm only about half way through. For

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After seven playthroughs over 350 hours, I have given Elden Ring a single, solitary mod.

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This fucking cunt is clearly going to take a long while.

Eat shit and die, FromSoft.

I'll be taking two weeks off from work toward the end of the month. This is great because I've been experiencing burnout from work, and I'll finally be able to focus on the commissions that need to get done. Yes, I'm still open for those. If you would like to request a commission, please DM me. I'll likely binge write during this time.

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Odysseus is a man of suffering.

And your playable characters in Dark Souls I, III, Bloodborne, and Elden Ring... They are the strugglers against a bleak and sadistic universe.

There is a messed up reason why Folklore compares himself to Odysseus, and it isn't an arrogant means to brag about his intelligence.